'30 before 30' #4: ITMillennial.com is born

So, I love to write. And blogging is one of the best ways to do that, because you have the potential to acquire quite an audience, for free (or very low cost).  Starting this blog has been a great outlet, particularly to keep in touch with and provide updates to friends and family.  So I wondered, could this become a popular "Mom Blog" out there?

The answer I quickly discovered was no.  In order to spend enough time with a blog that it becomes even marginally popular, it has to be part of (or at least related to) your full-time job.  And being a Mommy is my part-time night job, so it just wasn't going to work.

But my full-time job is IT management.  Hmm.... IT management....

With some inspiration and encouragement from Pete, I introduce: ITMillennial.com.  I'm going to give it a good try for a year.  See if I stick with it and if it gains any traction.  But I'm pretty pumped.  So I'll continue to have Saying Our Nevers for family and friends, and IT Millennial will be more anonymous and professional.

If you'd like to join me on my IT Millennial journey, there are three different ways to do that:

1. Subscribe to the RSS feed
2. Follow ITMillennial in Twitter
3. "Like" the IT Millennial Facebook page

I'd love to have you there.  :)

Top 5 things to do with a toddler in St. Joe / Benton Harbor

Being on maternity leave these past six weeks has not only given me a chance to bond with our new baby, but also to spend lots of time with our first child, which has proven to be a very fun and special time.  We've done all kinds of things around town, and have naturally come to a list of our favorites.

1. Parks
   Cost: Free
   Location: Many scattered throughout St. Joseph
   Conveniently, my maternity leave occurred during a time of year that generally has decent weather.  That's given both Pete and me the chance to accompany Caroline to the Lincoln Elementary School playground and the Tiny Tots park quite a bit.


2. Library
   Cost: Free
   Location: 500 Market Street, St. Joe
   I think the last thing Caroline is concerned about while at the library is finding a book.  She plays with the puzzles, builds with blocks, plays with the train set, studies the beach wall mural... and then, maybe, picks out a book.  That part is usually my job.


3. Silver Beach Carousel
   Cost: Depends on # of rides. We typically do 7 rides for $10
   Location: 333 Broad Street, St. Joe
   After just a single trip to the Silver Beach Carousel, there became rarely a day in which Caroline doesn't ask to go bye-bye to ride the "neigh's."  She loves it, and since I accompany her, I don't need to purchase tokens for myself.


4. Curious Kids' Museum
   Cost: $6/person June thru Labor Day weekend. $4/person non-summer days
   Location: 415 Lake Boulevard, St. Joe
   The increased summertime entrance fee is the downside to living in a touristy location, in addition to the fact that it's usually packed in the summer as well.  But in the non-summer months, it's great.  Caroline loves the volcano slide, the apple orchard exhibit, and the Toddle Farm.


5. Celebration Cinema
   Cost: $6/person for first matinee. It only gets worse after that...
   Location: 1468 Cinema Way, Benton Harbor
   Caroline enjoyed seeing a movie in the theatre for the most part, but not enough to justify us doing this very often.  Not until she gets older anyway.

Am I missing anything?  Do you have any other fun places to go with your toddler in the St. Joseph / Benton Harbor area?

'30 before 30' #12: The front flower bed is weed-free

Where do the weeds end and the plants begin?

Wow... hardly anything left...

After three days of weeding the front flower bed, it's finally weed-free.

Yes, three days to take a jungle of weeds down to what now feels like a puny amount of plants.  Those weeds were thick, lush, and green!  Hopefully the vegetation remaining -- that we intentionally planted -- will now have more resources for themselves and will grow faster (like weeds, perhaps).

This small project really made me realize that I could have a complete '30 before 30: yard edition' project.  There's so very much to do out there, with no end in sight.  Ugh.

But successes are successes and should be celebrated.  '30 before 30' project objective #12: Complete!

The pros and cons of Mom Blogs

My Mom told me about a lovely blog she reads called The Gypsy Mama, so I decided to begin reading it as well.  The writer recently had a baby, and blogs a lot about various motherly escapades, so I knew I would relate to her topics.  (I particularly enjoyed her recent post about her 8 weeks of maternity leave.)

But today's Gypsy Mama post almost made me swear off Mom Blogs forever.  Oh yes, it's absolutely gorgeous -- gorgeous subject matter, incredibly well-written, that tugs at the heart strings and carries a very worthwhile message.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with it whatsoever.  It's truly lovely.

However, while today the Gypsy Mama wrote about how beautiful her unexpected time was with her sons in the middle of the night, I recalled my own night last night when my 2-year-old kept getting up out of bed (over and over and over and over and over) and how angry and frustrated and not beautiful I was dealing with the whole thing.  Bedtime is bedtime, not lets-get-back-out-of-bed-for-fun time.  And trying to deal with this from 2:30 - 6:00am tries my patience to the limit.

So then comes the wave of guilt.  The Gypsy Mama can see God in her children's middle-of-the-night visits.  All I see is a 2-year-old keeping me from getting a solid three hours of sleep in between the newborn's feedings.  I'm a terrible mother.  What's wrong with me.  Poor Caroline deserves better.  And so on.  All you mothers out there know the drill.  Like we need any help feeling guilty, at any point, ever.

That's the risk one Mom takes in reading other Moms' blogs, I suppose.  There are moments of absolute understanding and connection, those "Wow, other kids do that crazy stuff too?" moments.  But then there are also those "Wow, that person is a waaay better Mom than me" moments, and those we will have to fight to keep us from feeling guilty, because it isn't worth it.

But I had a hard time with that today.

Kindred spirits

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."
— L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)

After graduating from college, it can be difficult to make good friends — really good friends with which you feel a special connection.  But it can happen, and two of mine got married this weekend, to each other.

Besides simply enjoying their company this weekend, I had a wonderfully memorable time at their wedding, because it was no ordinary event.  The wedding and reception were very carefully constructed by both of them, the entire event being filled with their favorite things.  They truly immersed us in their lives for a full day, showing us what they love and share as a couple, like:

• Playing Rock Band together instead of having a first dance
• Serving their favorite foods for dinner (no, Chipotle didn't cater, but tacos were still enjoyed by all)
• Putting a lot of work into the centerpieces, composing them of books and toys that not only told us what entertains them, but also entertained us through the evening

I've never been to a wedding that was so carefully planned by the bride and groom to include so many favorite details from their lives.  This was no generic event.  This was a full day-in-the-life of these two beautiful people.

In that way, being there for their wedding made me even happier.  Seeing and experiencing these tidbits with them all day, recognizing each favorite and sharing stories with other guests as I enjoyed each one, made the day even more special than it already was.  They put their love into each detail, and it was felt by all of us.

So to my two kindred spirits, thank you for sharing your lives with me, not only this weekend but for the past several years.  My heart aches as you move away, but now there's another city on my list that is a "must-visit" in the near future.  I'll add it next to London.  (My kindred spirits are global!)

Can't get enough

Over at WBEZ 91.5, author and filmmaker Amy Krouse Rosenthal has a lovely blog designed to inspire reflection, creativity, and connection with the people around us.  Last Thursday, she posted six things she just can't get enough of lately.  That made me think -- what can't I seem to get enough of this week?

1. Thunderstorms and the relaxing tapping of rain on the windows
2. Sleep (although I must say, I wouldn't consider myself sleep deprived anymore. Pete, G, and I have worked out a good system between the three of us for nighttime sleep)
3. Glee on Netflix
4. Watching Caroline and Pete communicate using sign language
5. Merciless elimination of weeds

What is it that you can't get enough of?

'30 before 30' project

I'm turning 29 this month.

Now, I'm not going into a tirade about how I'm so sad to see the approach of 30, because quite honestly, I haven't felt like a 20-something for a couple years now.  I don't know, there's something about having kids that very quickly steals the I'm-the-king-of-the-world feeling right out of you.  Maybe it's getting your stomach sliced open twice, leaving a permanent muffin top decorated with a lovely scar.  Or maybe it's getting puked on, and peed on, and kicked, and climbed.  It might also be activities like cleaning up poop after an accident during bathtime, or 4am wake-up calls, or temper tantrum reconnaissance.

Whatever it is, that 20-something happy-go-lucky I'll-do-whatever-I-want-thank-you-very-much feeling slipped out of my grasp awhile ago, so at least that isn't looming over my head anymore.

However, there is still the fact that next year, my age will start with the number 3 and not 2, and that in and of itself makes next year's birthday a bigger deal than some, at least in my head.

Enter the "30 before 30" project.

Celine Novenario started her own (the first? the official?) 30 before 30 project, creating a list of 30 things she wants to do before she turns 30.  Her list is ridiculously ambitious, so she's clearly single and childless, but nevertheless, her project was inspiring.  So I decided to create my own list to complete within the next 12 months.  It isn't nearly as impressive as Novenario's, but it will be appropriately challenging for a mother of two who works outside the home full-time.

And hopefully, working toward these goals will result in some entertaining escapades, or at least some good stories to share.

In no particular order, The List:

1. Learn a new piano piece.  Really master it.  Some good options are Grieg's piano concerto in A minor (2nd movement), Rachmaninoff's prelude in G major, or Debussy's "Reflets dans l'eau."
2. Complete the Couch-to-5K running plan
3. Take Hip Hop dance lessons
4. Fully develop my blogging persona.  Specifically an overarching theme, voice, and design.
5. Find a new hairstyle I like that's not a ponytail.  Preferably one that is (almost) as easy as a ponytail.
6. Spring clean my house.  Note: Doesn't actually have to occur in the Spring.
7. Read a total of ten books from TIME's Top 100 list.  That means reading six more.
8. Get all dressed up and have a fancy, romantic date with my husband
9. Complete Pimsleur Italian I
10. Clean off Nan's desk in the corner and make it a proper writing space
11. Buy new lingerie that is hot, hot, hot
12. Weed the front flower bed and keep it weedless
13. Go clothes shopping once per season (a total of four shopping trips)
14. Finally read the manual for my camera, learn how to take better pictures, and then take more pictures
15. Buy a pair of TOMS
16. Open savings accounts and Roth IRAs for our kids
17. Take my mom and sister to a live musical, like the good ol' days.  Right now, I've got my eye on Beauty and the Beast in December 2011.
18. Get down to my pre-kids weight.  (That means losing ten pounds.)
19. (Re-)Learn ten constellations, including how and when to find them, and their stories
20. Bake cookies with my oldest daughter
21. Have a Glee marathon / sleepover with my sister.  Be sure to sing along as much as possible, with mouthfuls of Hot Cheetos
22. Go geocaching
23. Release a book into the wild
24. Walk / Run / Bike for charity
25. Take my lunch to work four times a week for a month (in the hopes of establishing a good habit)
26. Update our very outdated household monthly budget
27. Mail at least one greeting card to a family member or friend every month
28. Get another family photo taken
29. Visit my family (Mom, Dad, siblings) more than I do now.  And 'more than I do now' means more than four times a year... (which is pathetic, since they only live 45 minutes away)
30. Take in tasty treats to work for my 30th

I'm a Toys-R-Us kid

For some reason, I have the old "I'm a Toys-R-Us kid" song stuck in my head today, from the 1980's commercials.  Remember that song?

It made me remember when Toys R Us truly was a magical place.  When I was little, Toys R Us seemed huge.  The shelves reached up to the sky, and had every toy imaginable.  Beautiful, shiny bicycles with streamers in every color of the rainbow.  Dolls and Barbies as far as the eye could see.  And a veritable ocean of video games.

When I was little, we didn't have a Toys R Us in our city, so we would drive an hour to get to one for special occasions.  Birthdays, special accomplishments... a couple times a year, we would make the trip, and I would usually pick out a new video game.  (Yes, I've been playing video games since about 5 years old.)

Stepping into Toys R Us and picking out that perfect video game was just sheer excitement.  The kind of excitement that one just doesn't experience anymore after the age of 7 or 8; it was pure childlike awe.  It was being inside that place that was so huge, smelling of toy new-ness, and feeling so very lucky to be there.  I now wish I had realized how much I should appreciate being little at that very moment.  How briefly we human beings feel magical before reality takes its tole and we become grounded forever.

But today, I remembered that magic.  It's nice to have memories of those moments, and today in particular, I thank my Mom for them.  I'm looking forward to seeing the world anew once again through the eyes of my own daughters.

Happy Mother's Day to every woman who has helped a child see magic in the world.

Haiku of a new mother

Deceptive darkness 

In an early Spring morning - 

We sink in the couch. 

She and I, both tired, 

Stomachs growling, eyelids slits - 

She rouses to nurse. 

The house is silent. 

Spring dawn appears to reveal 

Our secret refuge. 

I gaze out the window 

At young, green buds on the trees. 

I gaze at my daughter. 

Her eyes start to close, 

Her sleeping breaths are deep, slow. 

We snuggle to sleep. 

Afternoon coffee

Last time, you joined me for morning tea.  Now I'm no longer pregnant and have a newborn who has her days and nights mixed.  So now it's morning coffee, mid-morning coffee, occasionally afternoon coffee... you get the picture.

If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would be surrounded by a bustle of activity (once again, very different from last time).  My firstborn is the primary cause of that.  Right now, she's stomping around the house in her Diego light-up snow boots, watching Kai-Lan (basically the Chinese version of Dora the Explorer).  She makes quite the picture.  I'll be sure to get out my camera to capture it for potential future embarrassment (why do parents do that, anyway?).

My husband just got back from taking our newborn to the doctor for a check-up.  She gained half a pound last week!  So she's finally back up to her birth weight and doesn't have to go back for another check-up until she's two months old.  Hooray for normalcy!

If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would notice that I'm still in my pajamas.  I'm in my pajamas most of the day everyday, which is most likely the cause of my current cooped-up feeling.  I should probably try to get into a routine of my own (outside of the kids' feeding and sleeping routines) to start feeling a little more normal myself.  But knowing and doing are two completely different things, and when one is tired, changing out of pajamas just doesn't sound enticing at all.

If you were here, I would hand my newborn to you to see if you could get her to burp.  Because sometimes she's impossible to burp, like right now.  And of course she's sleeping.  Doesn't everyone sleep all day?

Thankful

As Genevieve and I have returned home this week and begun settling into the new normal for our household, it has struck me on countless occasions how thankful I am for the people and things in my life.  I've felt grateful for my blessings both large and small this week -- from the monumental to the seemingly insignificant.  But instead of just nonchalantly accepting the smile these gifts put on my face and letting the moment pass, I decided to document the ones that really stuck out, in a top ten list.  (Please don't laugh at the trivial ones... I'm thankful for them too! :)

#10: My favorite beverages: Hop Slam, Crystal Light fruit-flavored iced teas, and Diet Pepsi
After drinking water for a week in the hospital, avoiding caffeine and carbonation as much as possible during pregnancy, and staying away from beer for nine months due to both the alcohol factor as well as the evil carbs, it felt great to see all three of those beverages stocked in the refrigerator when I got home.  You know those little moments of solace that come around, where you can take a deep breath and close your eyes in bliss for a heartbeat?  A favorite drink does that for me.

#9: Coffee and Easter candy
Another couple things that I didn't have much or any of for nine months.  When you go without something for that long, it tastes ohhhhh so wonderful when you're reunited again.  (And yes, for those of you who know me, it goes without saying that I am specifically referring to Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.)  On top of that, it just so happens that these two things are delightful when consumed together.

#8: Online Netflix streaming
Having a plethora of children's television shows and movies at our fingertips whenever the need arises is priceless.  Bob the Builder, Caillou, Blue's Clues... seasons of shows like these available in unlimited streaming prevent us from 1.) ever missing cable, 2.) spending a ton of cash having to purchase or rent DVDs, and 3.) having to make Caroline watch the same movie over and over because there isn't anything else.  And all that is on top of the fact that it provides a bunch of entertainment for Pete and me too (such as my recent Glee love affair).

#7: A quiet house
For all you Moms and Dads out there, this one probably doesn't require explanation.

#6: Sunny days for playing outside
Having an energetic two-year-old makes the nice spring, summer, and fall days that much more enjoyable and appreciated.  Not only does it give Caroline something to do, but it also lets her use her seemingly limitless energy, which is good for everybody.  I felt thankful for sunny days this week because, well, there hasn't been one.  So I will appreciate one even more when we do finally get one again.  (If we ever get one again?)

#5: A good job with good benefits
There's nothing like having a baby to make you feel grateful for a well-paying job with good medical benefits. And I actually enjoy my job most of the time, which I consider an extra special bonus.

#4: Wonderful families
I will never be able to say enough about our families (Pete's and my parents and siblings).  I could fill a book with all of the help, support, and kindness we've received from them.  They make our life as a young family a piece of cake.  Words like "thank you," "I love you," and "we appreciate it" could never express our gratitude for everything they've done for us.  We wouldn't be where we are today without them.

#3: A supportive husband
I love, love, love my husband.  He is my partner, my friend, my sanity, and the most wonderful father to my children.  I'm so lucky we found each other.  He hasn't just been amazing this week during Genevieve's birth story, but of course I was extra appreciative of his love and support this week.  I really needed him, and he was there.

#2: Healthy children
Anyone who's familiar with the events of this past week understands the magnitude and importance of this one.  I'm incredibly grateful to have two beautiful, healthy daughters.  Very, very grateful.

And the number one thing I'm thankful for...

#1: Being loved
It's amazing what you can endure or accomplish when you're lifted up by people who love you.  If, for some reason, I lost any of the other nine things I'm thankful for, I would survive somehow, with the support of people who love me.  And that is the most powerful fact in my life, and I am truly blessed.

In response to: Reflections on my last day of being pregnant

Let's take a journey to my last blog post, written the day before Genevieve was born:

Instead of all the uncertainty of unknown labor, child birth, and recovery, I know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to feel...

Wow.  Did I ever underestimate the existence of unknowns.


This week will forever go down in my family's history not only as the week Genevieve was born, but the week that Pete and I felt the most helpless we've ever felt up to this point.  Having a newborn baby on oxygen, a feeding tube, an I.V., and a bunch of monitors for days on end is something I never thought would happen to us. While I truly do understand that it could've been a lot worse, that doesn't dilute how very, very thankful I am that all has turned out well.  We had so many people rooting for her, asking about her, and praying for her.  I feel truly blessed to have the circle of family and friends that we do.  Being surrounded by love, support, and words of encouragement was exactly what my family needed this week.


So thank you.  Thank you to everyone for everything you did.  It meant more than you know.

Reflections on my last day of being pregnant

Well, the countdown is now in hours instead of days.  23 hours from now, I'll be getting all sewn up after the birth of my second child.  How weird to have childbirth so scheduled, organized, and planned.  How dare I know the exact half hour in which my child will be born?  Feels like I'm trying to play a role that should only be reserved for God, but everyone's intentions are for the good of me and the baby, so I'm sure God is still smiling.

This time around, I feel a lot more unprepared from a "setup" perspective (we still have things to get around, put together, and situated even today, instead of being weeks ahead of the game) but I feel so much more calm about the arrival of a new baby in general.  Instead of all the uncertainty of unknown labor, child birth, and recovery, I know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to feel, so now I get to focus all my pre-birth thoughts on how wonderful it's going to be to finally meet this beautiful baby face to face.

22.5 hours from now.

I enjoyed being at home during Caroline's last week as an only child.  I was still working, but working with Caroline at my elbow is so much more fun, and at least gives me the illusion of spending quality time with her. I realized this week how much she truly has grown and learned and developed.  Much more than I had previously given her credit for.  Having the opportunity to discover, once again, how truly amazing Caroline is was a real blessing this last week.

Starting tomorrow, our collective world will be turned upside down, but we will roll with the punches, one day at a time.  I'm certain I'll be proud of every single member of this family.  That seems to be the trend anyway, from my limited 2.5 years of experience.  Everyone is going to do great.

22 hours from now.

Like father, like son-in-law

We have ants in our bathroom, for some weird reason.  The tiny ones.  And for the life of me, I can't find their source.  There will be one here, a couple there, spread out across the bathroom, so I can't find where they're coming in at.  It annoys me to no end.

I was sharing my annoyance at this fact with my husband the other night, and he says:

"Hmmm.  Instead of carpenter ants, they must be plumber ants."

...... ba-doom chhhhh ......

He looked at me with a huge grin on his face, waiting for me to internalize and appreciate this very witty, very humorous play on words.  I couldn't help but laugh, not so much at the joke but rather how proud he was of coming up with that on the fly.

And it immediately made me think of my Dad.  He comes up with stuff exactly like that.  The only difference is, my Dad laughs hysterically after he makes his joke, because he just can't help himself.  And then I laugh because he's laughing so hard.

Thank goodness for the men in our lives that lighten things up with their humor. I love you guys!

Justin Timberlake's personal wedding planner?

I don't have many dreams at night.  Or, if I do, I don't remember them very often.  But last night's was crystal clear... and crazy.

In my dream last night, I was on vacation at a tropical place.  Just me.  Not sure where my husband and daughter were, but I guess I left them at home.  That makes me feel guilty today, but during my dream last night, I was alone, on vacation, with a svelte enough body to enjoy being on the beach, without a single responsibility, and I was enjoying myself.

To dream that you are on vacation, indicates that you need a break to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself. You need to break out of your daily routine and do something different.  To dream that you are relaxing on a beach, signifies that the coming weeks will be calm and tranquil for you. Your stress will be alleviated and you will find peace of mind. DreamMoods.com.

Justin Timberlake was also at this tropical resort, with his girlfriend who coincidentally also happens to be a co-worker of mine in real life.  I never, ever think about Justin Timberlake and rarely interact with this co-worker, so why they were the subject of my dream, only my subconscious knows.

But Justin and I were buds in this dream, and he asked me to please plan and organize a grand marriage proposal for the two of them while they were on vacation.  It seemed the most natural thing in the world, so I organized the whole thing.  (Here's how grand it was: We were at a concert, and I had one of the ushers bring the ring over in a small box. LAME.)

To dream that you are good friends with a celebrity, represents your idealized version of someone you know in your life. Perhaps you hope that a real-life friend can act more like a particular celebrity. Consider the qualities that you see in this celebrity and how you want your friends to have those qualities. DreamMoods.com

Justin was so impressed that he asked me to please also plan and organize their grand wedding, because they were going to go ahead and get married real quick while they were on vacation.

Whaaaat?  Fact: I HATED planning for my wedding.  Hated it with a passion.  Luckily, my Mom was willing to be my personal wedding planner for basically the entire shindig; otherwise, the temptation to just elope might have been too irresistible.

Fortunately, I never reached the wedding.  Who knows how lame the wedding would have been, based on how super lame the proposal was. Besides, I'll take being woken up by my daughter crawling into bed with me on Sunday morning over crazy dreams any day.

To dream of a marriage, signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life.  DreamMoods.com

Layout mock-ups for Crystal's site

Having completed some high level content and audience analysis with Crystal in the past couple weeks, this week I've been in all-out design mode for her new site.  I have three different layout mock-ups, and would love to know your favorite.  I added a new poll in the right sidebar of this blog, asking which layout is your favorite.  Is it:

Layout #1

Layout #2

or Layout #3?

Please go to the poll in the right sidebar and vote!  Note: The boxes with the X's in them will be an image of some kind.

Thanks for participating!

Getting past the writer's block

My life as I knew it pretty much halted while I was sick, and I've found it to be a very slow process to get everything in my life back up to speed like it was just a couple weeks ago.  I hadn't been sick like this in several years, and I didn't take it very well, for whatever reason.  Being eight months pregnant probably didn't help.

So I needed to write a blog post just to write something again.  I have no clever topic -- not even a non-clever topic in mind.  But I need to write a post, because if I don't, I'm afraid this blog is going to lapse into stagnation like my (what feels like) hundreds of other blogs and journals before it, and I'd be disappointed.  I really want this one to stick.

For those concerned parties out there, I'm feeling better, by the way.  I'm taking my last antibiotic tomorrow morning.  My cough is slowly but surely dwindling to nothing, and my congestion is about gone.  Whew.

My daughter and I had a fun time blowing bubbles in the house this evening.  It was too cold and rainy to go outside, so we had our own springtime indoors, followed by rocky road ice cream of course (sweetened with Splenda so I had some too).  She's getting so big, so smart, so very fast.  My heart just breaks with love and admiration for her on a daily basis.  Not sure how it's going to be possible to love two little people this much.  How does one heart hold so much?  It's almost impossible to comprehend.

Yesterday, I started reading a women's devotional Bible I purchased awhile ago (could actually be an entire year ago now).  It's one of those Bibles that has daily devotions and prayers, and guides you through reading the entire Bible in a year.  As I started the journey yesterday, it made me wonder, how is the devotions author going to make the more "historical" sections of the Bible spiritually relevant?  You know, the parts about who descended from whom, that seem to go on and on.  I'm curious, but don't know enough about the Bible to know how to skip ahead to one of those sections to see (hence my taking on this endeavor in the first place), so time will have to tell.  I will wait patiently.

Well, exhaustion is taking over, so I will give in and go to bed.  Tomorrow's only Wednesday?  I find myself looking forward to eight weeks of maternity leave a lot lately, even though it means sleepless nights once again.  It'll be a special time.

Head Cold Haiku

Biting pre-Spring air 

The snot in my nose 

- it's frozen 

Bag of cotton balls 

Each and every one removed 

Shoved into my brain 

Indulgent softness 

Extra kindness and care 

My Kleenex 

An endless Spring river 

Pours from my eyes and nostrils 

Where is the source? 

My own snoring 

- I wake up 

Mouth so dry 

Morning tea

It's 6am.  I don't have to be at work for another hour yet, but I've been up since 4am with a runny nose, so I'm taking advantage of the quiet time by enjoying a mug of Earl Grey.  If you were sitting here with me at my kitchen table, I would offer you some and we would wake up together.

If you were joining me for tea, you would probably laugh at my deep, raspy, cold-laden voice.  I sound like I should be hosting a midnight radio show on the light jazz radio station.  How do I know this if I'm sitting by myself?  I tried it out.  Hey, it's 6am and I'm the only person awake in the house.  I'm allowed to try out my jazz voice (quietly, of course).

If you were sitting here with me, drinking tea, you would notice that I'm a new consumer of Splenda and soy milk.  In several ways, it's a reminder for me that all us daughters do become our mothers.  Now I actually understand why my mother bought this crap... I mean, bought these delicious alternatives.  Sugar intolerance sucks, but it's better than diabetes, so I count my blessings.

If you were joining me for tea, we would probably talk about the baby growing inside me, because that topic is sheerly unavoidable.  I would tell you about my scheduled doctor's appointment today, and my accompanying food diary, and how this child is a real mover and shaker.  You would ask me my due date, we would marvel at how close it is, we would wonder aloud how Caroline is going to do with the whole thing, and then we would move on to other topics.

If you were sitting here with me at my kitchen table, I would ask you about your day and your plans.  Large or small, a day's plans are important.  They're going to be what consume you for the next 14 hours, and that's a long time.  So I would ask you about that, and how you feel.

And then we would start our day and go our separate ways.  But it's nice to begin with morning tea.

Loaf o' Gold

Yesterday morning after breakfast, my daughter and I were lounging around, watching a couple episodes of Caillou.  In the last episode we watched, Caillou baked a cake with his mommy.

My daughter had watched this episode before, but this time, the cake really caught her attention.  I don't think I had even heard her say the word 'cake' before ('cookie,' yes, ALL the time... but never 'cake'), but here she was, running to the kitchen and searching through our pantry shelves, saying 'cake' over and over.

Before I continue with this story, here are a few important facts for reference:

1. You will rarely find me in the kitchen
2. I've never baked a cake without a pre-made boxed mix
3. My daughter has me securely wrapped around her pinky finger

Due to fact #3, I obviously had to bake a cake immediately, but that posed a problem with fact #2: we didn't have a boxed cake mix.  Keeping my composure, I turned to the one cookbook that has never failed me: my Betty Crocker cookbook from the 50's that my Mom gave me (who in turn had it given to her from her mother, who I lovingly call Nan).  Since I'm the third generation of women to use this cookbook, it has priceless notes and recommendations written in it that really make this cookbook the treasure that it is.

I turned to the Cakes section and started browsing for a cake that didn't require any ingredients we didn't have readily on hand.  I didn't want to mess with the layered, frosted cakes... I wasn't sure that my daughter would like a chocolate cake... I really wasn't sure what to try.

Then eureka! I saw one of Nan's unmistakable handwritten stars (written in bright pink ink, no less) next to a recipe, which always indicates that Nan really, really liked the recipe.  This was the only cake in the entire Cakes section that had one of Nan's pink stars.  Loaf o' Gold.

It was perfect.  Made in a bread pan, it was an easy, very straightforward pound cake.  Eggs, sugar, flour -- the usual stuff, and everything we had on hand.  My daughter and I rolled up our sleeves, put it all together, and stuck it in the oven for an hour.  As she ate her lunch, the cake was done, and both her and my husband had a couple slices for dessert.  They loved it, and I felt like a real mom, baking a cake with my daughter.

So to Nan, thank you for showing me the cake to make for my daughter, I know you saw us.  And to Mom, thank you for passing down this priceless cookbook.  I don't know what I'd do without it.