Haiku of a new mother

Deceptive darkness 

In an early Spring morning - 

We sink in the couch. 

She and I, both tired, 

Stomachs growling, eyelids slits - 

She rouses to nurse. 

The house is silent. 

Spring dawn appears to reveal 

Our secret refuge. 

I gaze out the window 

At young, green buds on the trees. 

I gaze at my daughter. 

Her eyes start to close, 

Her sleeping breaths are deep, slow. 

We snuggle to sleep. 

Afternoon coffee

Last time, you joined me for morning tea.  Now I'm no longer pregnant and have a newborn who has her days and nights mixed.  So now it's morning coffee, mid-morning coffee, occasionally afternoon coffee... you get the picture.

If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would be surrounded by a bustle of activity (once again, very different from last time).  My firstborn is the primary cause of that.  Right now, she's stomping around the house in her Diego light-up snow boots, watching Kai-Lan (basically the Chinese version of Dora the Explorer).  She makes quite the picture.  I'll be sure to get out my camera to capture it for potential future embarrassment (why do parents do that, anyway?).

My husband just got back from taking our newborn to the doctor for a check-up.  She gained half a pound last week!  So she's finally back up to her birth weight and doesn't have to go back for another check-up until she's two months old.  Hooray for normalcy!

If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would notice that I'm still in my pajamas.  I'm in my pajamas most of the day everyday, which is most likely the cause of my current cooped-up feeling.  I should probably try to get into a routine of my own (outside of the kids' feeding and sleeping routines) to start feeling a little more normal myself.  But knowing and doing are two completely different things, and when one is tired, changing out of pajamas just doesn't sound enticing at all.

If you were here, I would hand my newborn to you to see if you could get her to burp.  Because sometimes she's impossible to burp, like right now.  And of course she's sleeping.  Doesn't everyone sleep all day?

Thankful

As Genevieve and I have returned home this week and begun settling into the new normal for our household, it has struck me on countless occasions how thankful I am for the people and things in my life.  I've felt grateful for my blessings both large and small this week -- from the monumental to the seemingly insignificant.  But instead of just nonchalantly accepting the smile these gifts put on my face and letting the moment pass, I decided to document the ones that really stuck out, in a top ten list.  (Please don't laugh at the trivial ones... I'm thankful for them too! :)

#10: My favorite beverages: Hop Slam, Crystal Light fruit-flavored iced teas, and Diet Pepsi
After drinking water for a week in the hospital, avoiding caffeine and carbonation as much as possible during pregnancy, and staying away from beer for nine months due to both the alcohol factor as well as the evil carbs, it felt great to see all three of those beverages stocked in the refrigerator when I got home.  You know those little moments of solace that come around, where you can take a deep breath and close your eyes in bliss for a heartbeat?  A favorite drink does that for me.

#9: Coffee and Easter candy
Another couple things that I didn't have much or any of for nine months.  When you go without something for that long, it tastes ohhhhh so wonderful when you're reunited again.  (And yes, for those of you who know me, it goes without saying that I am specifically referring to Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.)  On top of that, it just so happens that these two things are delightful when consumed together.

#8: Online Netflix streaming
Having a plethora of children's television shows and movies at our fingertips whenever the need arises is priceless.  Bob the Builder, Caillou, Blue's Clues... seasons of shows like these available in unlimited streaming prevent us from 1.) ever missing cable, 2.) spending a ton of cash having to purchase or rent DVDs, and 3.) having to make Caroline watch the same movie over and over because there isn't anything else.  And all that is on top of the fact that it provides a bunch of entertainment for Pete and me too (such as my recent Glee love affair).

#7: A quiet house
For all you Moms and Dads out there, this one probably doesn't require explanation.

#6: Sunny days for playing outside
Having an energetic two-year-old makes the nice spring, summer, and fall days that much more enjoyable and appreciated.  Not only does it give Caroline something to do, but it also lets her use her seemingly limitless energy, which is good for everybody.  I felt thankful for sunny days this week because, well, there hasn't been one.  So I will appreciate one even more when we do finally get one again.  (If we ever get one again?)

#5: A good job with good benefits
There's nothing like having a baby to make you feel grateful for a well-paying job with good medical benefits. And I actually enjoy my job most of the time, which I consider an extra special bonus.

#4: Wonderful families
I will never be able to say enough about our families (Pete's and my parents and siblings).  I could fill a book with all of the help, support, and kindness we've received from them.  They make our life as a young family a piece of cake.  Words like "thank you," "I love you," and "we appreciate it" could never express our gratitude for everything they've done for us.  We wouldn't be where we are today without them.

#3: A supportive husband
I love, love, love my husband.  He is my partner, my friend, my sanity, and the most wonderful father to my children.  I'm so lucky we found each other.  He hasn't just been amazing this week during Genevieve's birth story, but of course I was extra appreciative of his love and support this week.  I really needed him, and he was there.

#2: Healthy children
Anyone who's familiar with the events of this past week understands the magnitude and importance of this one.  I'm incredibly grateful to have two beautiful, healthy daughters.  Very, very grateful.

And the number one thing I'm thankful for...

#1: Being loved
It's amazing what you can endure or accomplish when you're lifted up by people who love you.  If, for some reason, I lost any of the other nine things I'm thankful for, I would survive somehow, with the support of people who love me.  And that is the most powerful fact in my life, and I am truly blessed.

In response to: Reflections on my last day of being pregnant

Let's take a journey to my last blog post, written the day before Genevieve was born:

Instead of all the uncertainty of unknown labor, child birth, and recovery, I know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to feel...

Wow.  Did I ever underestimate the existence of unknowns.


This week will forever go down in my family's history not only as the week Genevieve was born, but the week that Pete and I felt the most helpless we've ever felt up to this point.  Having a newborn baby on oxygen, a feeding tube, an I.V., and a bunch of monitors for days on end is something I never thought would happen to us. While I truly do understand that it could've been a lot worse, that doesn't dilute how very, very thankful I am that all has turned out well.  We had so many people rooting for her, asking about her, and praying for her.  I feel truly blessed to have the circle of family and friends that we do.  Being surrounded by love, support, and words of encouragement was exactly what my family needed this week.


So thank you.  Thank you to everyone for everything you did.  It meant more than you know.

Reflections on my last day of being pregnant

Well, the countdown is now in hours instead of days.  23 hours from now, I'll be getting all sewn up after the birth of my second child.  How weird to have childbirth so scheduled, organized, and planned.  How dare I know the exact half hour in which my child will be born?  Feels like I'm trying to play a role that should only be reserved for God, but everyone's intentions are for the good of me and the baby, so I'm sure God is still smiling.

This time around, I feel a lot more unprepared from a "setup" perspective (we still have things to get around, put together, and situated even today, instead of being weeks ahead of the game) but I feel so much more calm about the arrival of a new baby in general.  Instead of all the uncertainty of unknown labor, child birth, and recovery, I know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to feel, so now I get to focus all my pre-birth thoughts on how wonderful it's going to be to finally meet this beautiful baby face to face.

22.5 hours from now.

I enjoyed being at home during Caroline's last week as an only child.  I was still working, but working with Caroline at my elbow is so much more fun, and at least gives me the illusion of spending quality time with her. I realized this week how much she truly has grown and learned and developed.  Much more than I had previously given her credit for.  Having the opportunity to discover, once again, how truly amazing Caroline is was a real blessing this last week.

Starting tomorrow, our collective world will be turned upside down, but we will roll with the punches, one day at a time.  I'm certain I'll be proud of every single member of this family.  That seems to be the trend anyway, from my limited 2.5 years of experience.  Everyone is going to do great.

22 hours from now.

Like father, like son-in-law

We have ants in our bathroom, for some weird reason.  The tiny ones.  And for the life of me, I can't find their source.  There will be one here, a couple there, spread out across the bathroom, so I can't find where they're coming in at.  It annoys me to no end.

I was sharing my annoyance at this fact with my husband the other night, and he says:

"Hmmm.  Instead of carpenter ants, they must be plumber ants."

...... ba-doom chhhhh ......

He looked at me with a huge grin on his face, waiting for me to internalize and appreciate this very witty, very humorous play on words.  I couldn't help but laugh, not so much at the joke but rather how proud he was of coming up with that on the fly.

And it immediately made me think of my Dad.  He comes up with stuff exactly like that.  The only difference is, my Dad laughs hysterically after he makes his joke, because he just can't help himself.  And then I laugh because he's laughing so hard.

Thank goodness for the men in our lives that lighten things up with their humor. I love you guys!

Justin Timberlake's personal wedding planner?

I don't have many dreams at night.  Or, if I do, I don't remember them very often.  But last night's was crystal clear... and crazy.

In my dream last night, I was on vacation at a tropical place.  Just me.  Not sure where my husband and daughter were, but I guess I left them at home.  That makes me feel guilty today, but during my dream last night, I was alone, on vacation, with a svelte enough body to enjoy being on the beach, without a single responsibility, and I was enjoying myself.

To dream that you are on vacation, indicates that you need a break to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself. You need to break out of your daily routine and do something different.  To dream that you are relaxing on a beach, signifies that the coming weeks will be calm and tranquil for you. Your stress will be alleviated and you will find peace of mind. DreamMoods.com.

Justin Timberlake was also at this tropical resort, with his girlfriend who coincidentally also happens to be a co-worker of mine in real life.  I never, ever think about Justin Timberlake and rarely interact with this co-worker, so why they were the subject of my dream, only my subconscious knows.

But Justin and I were buds in this dream, and he asked me to please plan and organize a grand marriage proposal for the two of them while they were on vacation.  It seemed the most natural thing in the world, so I organized the whole thing.  (Here's how grand it was: We were at a concert, and I had one of the ushers bring the ring over in a small box. LAME.)

To dream that you are good friends with a celebrity, represents your idealized version of someone you know in your life. Perhaps you hope that a real-life friend can act more like a particular celebrity. Consider the qualities that you see in this celebrity and how you want your friends to have those qualities. DreamMoods.com

Justin was so impressed that he asked me to please also plan and organize their grand wedding, because they were going to go ahead and get married real quick while they were on vacation.

Whaaaat?  Fact: I HATED planning for my wedding.  Hated it with a passion.  Luckily, my Mom was willing to be my personal wedding planner for basically the entire shindig; otherwise, the temptation to just elope might have been too irresistible.

Fortunately, I never reached the wedding.  Who knows how lame the wedding would have been, based on how super lame the proposal was. Besides, I'll take being woken up by my daughter crawling into bed with me on Sunday morning over crazy dreams any day.

To dream of a marriage, signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life.  DreamMoods.com