My Mom told me about a lovely blog she reads called The Gypsy Mama, so I decided to begin reading it as well. The writer recently had a baby, and blogs a lot about various motherly escapades, so I knew I would relate to her topics. (I particularly enjoyed her recent post about her 8 weeks of maternity leave.)
But today's Gypsy Mama post almost made me swear off Mom Blogs forever. Oh yes, it's absolutely gorgeous -- gorgeous subject matter, incredibly well-written, that tugs at the heart strings and carries a very worthwhile message. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it whatsoever. It's truly lovely.
However, while today the Gypsy Mama wrote about how beautiful her unexpected time was with her sons in the middle of the night, I recalled my own night last night when my 2-year-old kept getting up out of bed (over and over and over and over and over) and how angry and frustrated and not beautiful I was dealing with the whole thing. Bedtime is bedtime, not lets-get-back-out-of-bed-for-fun time. And trying to deal with this from 2:30 - 6:00am tries my patience to the limit.
So then comes the wave of guilt. The Gypsy Mama can see God in her children's middle-of-the-night visits. All I see is a 2-year-old keeping me from getting a solid three hours of sleep in between the newborn's feedings. I'm a terrible mother. What's wrong with me. Poor Caroline deserves better. And so on. All you mothers out there know the drill. Like we need any help feeling guilty, at any point, ever.
That's the risk one Mom takes in reading other Moms' blogs, I suppose. There are moments of absolute understanding and connection, those "Wow, other kids do that crazy stuff too?" moments. But then there are also those "Wow, that person is a waaay better Mom than me" moments, and those we will have to fight to keep us from feeling guilty, because it isn't worth it.
But I had a hard time with that today.
The pros and cons of Mom Blogs
Kindred spirits
"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."After graduating from college, it can be difficult to make good friends — really good friends with which you feel a special connection. But it can happen, and two of mine got married this weekend, to each other.
— L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)
Besides simply enjoying their company this weekend, I had a wonderfully memorable time at their wedding, because it was no ordinary event. The wedding and reception were very carefully constructed by both of them, the entire event being filled with their favorite things. They truly immersed us in their lives for a full day, showing us what they love and share as a couple, like:
- Playing Rock Band together instead of having a first dance
- Serving their favorite foods for dinner (no, Chipotle didn't cater, but tacos were still enjoyed by all)
- Putting a lot of work into the centerpieces, composing them of books and toys that not only told us what entertains them, but also entertained us through the evening
In that way, being there for their wedding made me even happier. Seeing and experiencing these tidbits with them all day, recognizing each favorite and sharing stories with other guests as I enjoyed each one, made the day even more special than it already was. They put their love into each detail, and it was felt by all of us.
So to my two kindred spirits, thank you for sharing your lives with me, not only this weekend but for the past several years. My heart aches as you move away, but now there's another city on my list that is a "must-visit" in the near future. I'll add it next to London. (My kindred spirits are global!)
Can't get enough
- Thunderstorms and the relaxing tapping of rain on the windows
- Sleep (although I must say, I wouldn't consider myself sleep deprived anymore. Pete, G, and I have worked out a good system between the three of us for nighttime sleep)
- Glee on Netflix
- Watching Caroline and Pete communicate using sign language
- Merciless elimination of weeds
What is it that you can't get enough of?
'30 before 30' project
I'm turning 29 this month.
Now, I'm not going into a tirade about how I'm so sad to see the approach of 30, because quite honestly, I haven't felt like a 20-something for a couple years now. I don't know, there's something about having kids that very quickly steals the I'm-the-king-of-the-world feeling right out of you. Maybe it's getting your stomach sliced open twice, leaving a permanent muffin top decorated with a lovely scar. Or maybe it's getting puked on, and peed on, and kicked, and climbed. It might also be activities like cleaning up poop after an accident during bathtime, or 4am wake-up calls, or temper tantrum reconnaissance.
However, there is still the fact that next year, my age will start with the number 3 and not 2, and that in and of itself makes next year's birthday a bigger deal than some, at least in my head.
Enter the "30 before 30" project.
Celine Novenario started her own (the first? the official?) 30 before 30 project, creating a list of 30 things she wants to do before she turns 30. Her list is ridiculously ambitious, so she's clearly single and childless, but nevertheless, her project was inspiring. So I decided to create my own list to complete within the next 12 months. It isn't nearly as impressive as Novenario's, but it will be appropriately challenging for a mother of two who works outside the home full-time.
And hopefully, working toward these goals will result in some entertaining escapades, or at least some good stories to share.
In no particular order, The List:
- Learn a new piano piece. Really master it. Some good options are Grieg's piano concerto in A minor (2nd movement), Rachmaninoff's prelude in G major, or Debussy's "Reflets dans l'eau."
- Complete the Couch-to-5K running plan
- Take Hip Hop dance lessons
- Fully develop my blogging persona. Specifically an overarching theme, voice, and design.
- Find a new hairstyle I like that's not a ponytail. Preferably one that is (almost) as easy as a ponytail.
- Spring clean my house. Note: Doesn't actually have to occur in the Spring.
- Read a total of ten books from TIME's Top 100 list. That means reading six more.
- Get all dressed up and have a fancy, romantic date with my husband
- Complete Pimsleur Italian I
- Clean off Nan's desk in the corner and make it a proper writing space
- Buy new lingerie that is hot, hot, hot
- Weed the front flower bed and keep it weedless
- Go clothes shopping once per season (a total of four shopping trips)
- Finally read the manual for my camera, learn how to take better pictures, and then take more pictures
- Buy a pair of TOMS
- Open savings accounts and Roth IRAs for our kids
- Take my mom and sister to a live musical, like the good ol' days. Right now, I've got my eye on Beauty and the Beast in December 2011.
- Get down to my pre-kids weight. (That means losing ten pounds.)
- (Re-)Learn ten constellations, including how and when to find them, and their stories
- Bake cookies with my oldest daughter
- Have a Glee marathon / sleepover with my sister. Be sure to sing along as much as possible, with mouthfuls of Hot Cheetos
- Go geocaching
- Release a book into the wild
- Walk / Run / Bike for charity
- Take my lunch to work four times a week for a month (in the hopes of establishing a good habit)
- Update our very outdated household monthly budget
- Mail at least one greeting card to a family member or friend every month
- Get another family photo taken
- Visit my family (Mom, Dad, siblings) more than I do now. And 'more than I do now' means more than four times a year... (which is pathetic, since they only live 45 minutes away)
- Take in tasty treats to work for my 30th
I'm a Toys-R-Us kid
For some reason, I have the old "I'm a Toys-R-Us kid" song stuck in my head today, from the 1980's commercials. Remember that song?
It made me remember when Toys R Us truly was a magical place. When I was little, Toys R Us seemed huge. The shelves reached up to the sky, and had every toy imaginable. Beautiful, shiny bicycles with streamers in every color of the rainbow. Dolls and Barbies as far as the eye could see. And a veritable ocean of video games.
When I was little, we didn't have a Toys R Us in our city, so we would drive an hour to get to one for special occasions. Birthdays, special accomplishments... a couple times a year, we would make the trip, and I would usually pick out a new video game. (Yes, I've been playing video games since about 5 years old.)
Stepping into Toys R Us and picking out that perfect video game was just sheer excitement. The kind of excitement that one just doesn't experience anymore after the age of 7 or 8; it was pure childlike awe. It was being inside that place that was so huge, smelling of toy new-ness, and feeling so very lucky to be there. I now wish I had realized how much I should appreciate being little at that very moment. How briefly we human beings feel magical before reality takes its tole and we become grounded forever.
But today, I remembered that magic. It's nice to have memories of those moments, and today in particular, I thank my Mom for them. I'm looking forward to seeing the world anew once again through the eyes of my own daughters.
Happy Mother's Day to every woman who has helped a child see magic in the world.
Haiku of a new mother
Deceptive darkness
In an early Spring morning -
We sink in the couch.
She and I, both tired,
Stomachs growling, eyelids slits -
She rouses to nurse.
The house is silent.
Spring dawn appears to reveal
Our secret refuge.
I gaze out the window
At young, green buds on the trees.
I gaze at my daughter.
Her eyes start to close,
Her sleeping breaths are deep, slow.
We snuggle to sleep.
Afternoon coffee
Last time, you joined me for morning tea. Now I'm no longer pregnant and have a newborn who has her days and nights mixed. So now it's morning coffee, mid-morning coffee, occasionally afternoon coffee... you get the picture.
If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would be surrounded by a bustle of activity (once again, very different from last time). My firstborn is the primary cause of that. Right now, she's stomping around the house in her Diego light-up snow boots, watching Kai-Lan (basically the Chinese version of Dora the Explorer). She makes quite the picture. I'll be sure to get out my camera to capture it for potential future embarrassment (why do parents do that, anyway?).
My husband just got back from taking our newborn to the doctor for a check-up. She gained half a pound last week! So she's finally back up to her birth weight and doesn't have to go back for another check-up until she's two months old. Hooray for normalcy!
If you were here having a cup of coffee with me, you would notice that I'm still in my pajamas. I'm in my pajamas most of the day everyday, which is most likely the cause of my current cooped-up feeling. I should probably try to get into a routine of my own (outside of the kids' feeding and sleeping routines) to start feeling a little more normal myself. But knowing and doing are two completely different things, and when one is tired, changing out of pajamas just doesn't sound enticing at all.
If you were here, I would hand my newborn to you to see if you could get her to burp. Because sometimes she's impossible to burp, like right now. And of course she's sleeping. Doesn't everyone sleep all day?
